Your Story: Mum

If you’re a mother (or have a mother in your life) here’s an opportunity for you or Mum to star in your own hardcover Penguin book, with a classic Penguin logo and cover.

This ‘guided keepsake journal’ has a whole bunch of questions that Mums can ask themselves, or family members can ask their mother. Under each question there’s a blank space for the answer to be written.

The book’s divided into five sections: Childhood, Teenage Years, Young Adulthood, Adulthood and Later Life, with a few pages at the end for mementos such as photos, concert tickets, or other small reminders of events or experiences. The pages aren’t numbered, although there’s an orange ribbon bookmark to keep you keep track of where you’re up to.

The questions are thought-provoking and most of them require more than a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ response. Although some should be easy to answer (Did you have any pets growing up?), others require deeper reflection (What were you most afraid of when you were becoming an adult, and did you work on overcoming this fear?). Multiple topics are covered, including friendships, family relationships, school days, paid work history, reckless decisions (!), achievements, stresses and pressures, travel, favourite places, historical events, and family traditions. Not all questions will apply to all mothers – for example, not all mothers learn to drive, have bought their own home, or have careers.

Some questions could be challenging to ask or answer. Consider how your mother might answer this question, or how you might answer it yourself: How would you describe your children’s personalities? Other questions address sensitive topics: How have you coped with any losses of family or loved ones? Describe the first person you said ‘I love you’ to – did it work out between you? What beliefs do you hold about the afterlife and what happens to us when we die?

The journal could be filled in over many years if it’s started when Mum is ‘young’, or completed over weeks or months by – or with – an older mother. It would be a great way to gather memories from an elderly mother or grandmother, with one or two questions asked during each visit, if you’re interested in learning more about their life and history before it’s too late. (Answers could be woven into a eulogy when the time comes.)

If your mother lives in another part of the country or overseas, you could email the questions or run them past Mum during a phone call or video chat. It would be a fun way for you and your whānau to learn more about her, depending how much she’s willing to reveal.

Whether you buy the book for yourself, or for the mother or mother-like person in your life, commit to completing as much of it as you can. The real value will lie in the insights captured for existing – and perhaps future – family members.

Reviewer: Anne Kerslake Hendricks

Penguin Random House