Nothing to Lose by Nix Adams

Nothing to Lose by Nix Adams is a deeply personal memoir about grief, addiction and recovery.

Many people will know Nix from her huge social media following and her recent win on Celebrity Treasure Island. But behind the humour is a life marked by unimaginable loss. While living in Australia, Nix’s 16-month-old son, Alaska, died. Her grief led to meth addiction, drug dealing and sex work. She got sober while in prison and began using social media to show her family she was building a better life.

I’ve followed Nix online for years and have always loved her humour, so I was keen to learn more. Just like her online presence, she doesn’t hold much back.

At the heart of Nothing to Lose is intergenerational trauma. Nix looks beyond her own experiences to the wider story of her family. She explores how trauma can pass from one generation to the next, shaping relationships, choices and how we see ourselves. The wider family story is one of the most powerful parts of her memoir.

These are difficult subjects, but the book never feels too heavy. What stayed with me most was her determination. This isn’t simply a memoir about what happened to Nix. It’s about what she did next.

There’s also something powerful about seeing someone you’ve followed online in a broader context. Social media gives us glimpses into a person’s life, but a memoir has room for the complicated parts. Ultimately, I came away thinking about resilience more than trauma. There is plenty of darkness in Nix’s story, but there is light too. Her humour, honesty and determination shine through.

I thought I knew something of Nix’s story before picking up this book. It turns out there was so much more to know. Follow Nix online.

Reviewer: Andrea Molloy

Allen & Unwin