Interview: Harold Hillman talks about Passion & Purpose

Harold Hillman is the Managing Director of Sigmoid Curve Consulting and a trusted advisor to CEOs and executive teams across New Zealand, Australia, the Pacific, and the U.S. He is the author of the bestselling books, The Impostor Syndrome, Fitting In & Standing Out, and Empathy: The Human Side of Leadership. A weekly voice on New Zealand radio for nearly a decade and a global keynote speaker, Harold is known for sparking courageous conversations and inspiring lasting personal transformation. He talks to NZ Booklovers about Passion & Purpose.

What made you decide to focus on passion and purpose in your new book?

The timing was optimal in my life to write a book about an important overlay in life that many people experience: their belief that they were born to make a tangible difference in this world, large or small. I would not have been able to write this book when I was 50 years old, not even at 60. On the cusp of turning 70, I now understand how all of life’s experiences, good and bad, roll up into wisdom and perspective. My goal with the book is to encourage people to be proactive about nurturing both their intrinsic passions and their sense of ultimate purpose in life, both of which make a fundamental difference in their overall quality of life.

You’ve had a long career in leadership coaching. Have you always encouraged people to discover their passion and purpose or is this a new thing?

It helps that I am a psychologist as well as a leadership coach, although I make it clear to my clients that I do not practice psychotherapy in my work with them. However, I do consider each person’s specific challenges and opportunities through the lens of playing to their strengths (akin to passion) while, at the same time, being open to new ways of thinking about how to land with maximum impact. Strong self-awareness is fundamental to success in leadership and life. I value taking my clients inside their own thinking to explore how they would like to make a real difference in life.

Do these qualities come naturally to you are they something you’ve had to work at over the years?

I have always had strong EQ, even before I understood what it is and why it’s important. These very qualities factored strongly in my decision to become a clinical psychologist and eventually a leadership coach. I consider myself ‘good’ with people, especially the importance of being fully present when engaging with others. On the trust triangle, I strongly value authenticity, empathy and logical connection when engaging with others. I believe these attributes have contributed to my success in the business world.

Please give us some examples of world leaders you think imbue passion and purpose and how this makes them a cut above the rest.

I’m in a total news blackout for 365 days, which ends on 31 December 2025, which will then culminate in a LinkedIn article entitled: My Year in the Light: 365 Days with No News. My objective here is to encourage people to be more mindful and purposeful about the news that they allow to influence their overall quality of life on a day-to-day basis. So, I am purposefully ‘out of touch’ with what is going on in the world since 1 January 2025. I hope that many find my article of reflection on the year to be of value.

Inspirational people in my lifetime who are famous: Martin Luther King, Jr., Robert Kennedy, Malcom X, Billie Holiday, Diana Ross, Hilary Clinton, Helen Clark, Princes Diana, Barack & Michelle Obama, Liz Cheyney – all famous for their values which are about lifting the lives of others through selflessness and commitment. There are others, but these names stand out for now.

The world feels even more troubled and unstable than usual. Got any advice for keeping calm and carrying on?

I remind people that there are three spheres of influence in one’s life; think of these as three concentric circles. The inner circle is sphere one. These are decisions that you make every day that impact on how your day unfolds. You have direct and immediate control over whether something goes left or right; your hands are on the steering wheel.

The middle circle is sphere two. These are decisions that are not directly in your control, but you can influence the outcomes often through various mediums that enable your voice to be heard, e.g. marches, protests, voting, etc.

In circle three, you have no control over how anything is going to unfold. It may be whatever Trump or Putin decide what they want to do on a given day. It may be the war in Gaza where you have zero influence over the outcome. Oddly, many people often devote most of their psychological energy to things that are happening in Circle 3, rather than influencing outcomes in Circles 1 & 2, which have more direct and immediate impact on having a sense of control in life. It often helps to reel yourself out of Circle 3 and to bring yourself back into those spheres where you can have tangible impact.

Can you share some inspiring stories from your own life or the lives of others where passion and purpose have been transformative?

As a young kid, being called ‘Dr. Hillman’ by my father after I started primary school, I loved feeling intelligent. Eventually, all my uncles and aunts called me ‘Doc.’ I had no choice but to become an educated man!

Learning and loving to read early in life, which would inspire a lifetime of writing – a primary source of passion and energy for me. Even though my father never learned to read, he inspired my younger sister and I to constantly read books, pretending to read to us before we started school. It was his glee that drew us into books. Talk about inspiration.

Winning the ‘English’ award in 9th grade for writing a play called ‘To Teach is to Die.’ I have no idea where the title came from, but the English teachers all loved it, so they gave me an award at middle school graduation which meant the world to me. It was then that I began to realise that writing was not only a passion, but probably my raison d’etre. Turns out, it was true.

Coming out of the closet as a gay man when I was 42, realising that fortune is not driven by money or living in corporate five-star prisons, but driven instead by a genuine comfort with who I am as a person. I was an impostor for the first four decades of my life; it was a great feeling to finally take the mask off.

Devoting my later years to the realms of authenticity and empathy, helping people to understand that taking people along with you is not as complex as it may seem. Part of my purpose has been to make EQ as prevalent as IQ in determining success in leadership and in life.

How do you encourage someone to push through adversity and overcome obstacles?

It takes a few decades of pushing through painful experiences for the ‘penny to drop’ for the average person. When you are young, pushing through adversity can often be daunting, particularly if you’re facing into a challenge that you’ve never faced before.

After a few decades, you then begin to realise that ‘short-term pain’ actually translates into ‘long-term gain.’ It was Dr. Aristotle, some 24 centuries ago, who encouraged leaders to go out in search of adversity if their aspiration is to have strong character. Unless you occasionally have to push through pain, you have no opportunity to explore what really matters to you, what you truly value, what your ‘lines in the sand’ and ‘stakes in the ground’ are. When people ae pushing through adversity and obstacles, I encourage them to take the long view. This pain will ultimately translate into gain. Learn what you can and take the long view!

There’s a lot of talk about building personal resilience in our lives. How does this make a difference?

Locus of control – a psychological term for whether you believe you have your hands on the steering wheel in your own life. Resilience is about the ability to bounce back from adversity, quicker and sooner, with each and every bout with pain in life. Self-confidence is everything when it comes to personal resilience, hence the importance of fuelling people in their lives around how and why they make a positive difference, rather than berating and belittling others as a means of holding onto power.

Resilience is about physical and mental well-being. It’s great to see many organisations focusing on the ‘wholeness’ construct of personal resilience, making it easier to talk about pushing through stress and depression, both natural components of life. Ultimately, it comes down to instilling a discipline in our lives to ensure that our health and well-being are at the forefront, not an afterthought.

How do we stay the course so that our lives have meaning and fulfilment?

In the book, I encourage people to write down, in ten words or less, what they consider to be their ultimate purpose in life. I encourage them to mix it up and be bold with their ten words. My ultimate purpose in life is ‘to encourage people to lead and live healthier, happier lives.’ Nine words that put meaning to how I structure my life; my average day. As you ponder the ten words or less, ask people who know you well what they believe your purpose in life is. You may be amazed at what other people may see in you that you can’t see clearly yet. Once you have landed on those ten words or less, it becomes your life ‘scorecard.’ Sit down and ponder on occasion whether you are living that life to its fullest extent; where do you need to push yourself even further to know that you are making a true difference with your life. Ultimately, that is what Dr. Abraham Maslow meant by the term ‘self-actualisation,’ the highest-level human need in his famous hierarchy. Fulfilment is ultimately believing that you are doing what you were born to do!

What do you hope people will learn by reading your book?

My hope is that, by reading Passion & Purpose, people will be more insightful about what really matters in life to them, and that they will feel inspired and motivated to take their influence and impact to the next level, whatever that may be, e.g. career, relationships and other choices in life. It’s ultimately about inspiring people to take more control over their day-to-day happiness and quality of life, which then enables them to do the same for others. This book is about realising and reaching one’s full potential to make a difference with your life through inherent passions that invigorate your mind, body and soul.

Passion & Purpose: Leading and Living Life with Greater Fulfilment is available for sale at Unity Books Auckland or online at https://www.drharoldhillman.com/