How We Grow Up by Matt Richtel

Matt Richtel’s How We Grow Up is a timely, compassionate, and deeply illuminating dive into one of life’s most turbulent phases: adolescence. Building on his Pulitzer Prize-winning journalism and acclaimed New York Times reporting on the teen mental health crisis, Richtel fuses neuroscience, evolutionary biology, and compelling storytelling to explore how the modern world is reshaping what it means to grow up.

At the heart of this book is a bold premise: adolescence, long seen as a period of hormonal upheaval and moody rebellion, is actually a finely tuned, evolution-honed process designed for risk-taking, exploration, and social learning. Yet, in today’s digital age, this natural transition has collided with an environment that is far more stimulating and stressful than the adolescent brain is built to handle. The result is a widespread mismatch, where earlier-onset puberty, screen-based information overload, and constant social comparison contribute to rising rates of anxiety, depression, and identity confusion.

Richtel’s strength lies in making complex science both digestible and emotionally resonant. Drawing from the latest neurobiological research, he explains the workings of the so-called “social brain”, the network that drives teenagers to seek peer connection, assert independence, and test limits. Far from being reckless or irrational, these behaviours are shown to be biologically necessary for learning how to survive and thrive in adulthood. Risk-taking, Richtel argues, is not just inevitable during adolescence; it is essential.

What elevates this book beyond a science primer is its human dimension. Richtel introduces us to real teenagers, their families, and their struggles. These narrative threads bring the science to life, illustrating how neurological development plays out in the classroom, at home, and on social media. Whether exploring a student’s spiral into anxiety, or a parent’s efforts to reconnect with a withdrawn child, Richtel shows empathy without sentimentality and insight without oversimplification.

Educators and parents alike will find How We Grow Up invaluable. It offers answers to perennial questions: Why do teens seem drawn to drama and danger? How can adults support them without suffocating their independence? What’s behind the current mental health epidemic among youth? Richtel’s answers are grounded in both data and common sense. He resists moral panic, instead encouraging a clearer understanding of how we got here, and how we might do better.

There are moments where the science may feel slightly dense for readers without a background in neuroscience, but Richtel’s lucid prose and knack for analogy keep the pace brisk. His enthusiasm is infectious, and his ability to weave narrative with research ensures that even the more technical sections feel purposeful.

In short, How We Grow Up is a standout contribution to our understanding of adolescence. It is both a call for empathy and a practical guide, helping us reframe what it means to come of age in the twenty-first century. A must-read for parents, teachers, and anyone invested in the future of young people.

Reviewer: Chris Reed

Mariner Books