Defy by Dr Sunita Sah

Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes by Dr Sunita Sah is a timely, provocative, and ultimately empowering work that examines our complex relationship with compliance and consent. Sah, a physician, organisational psychologist, and professor at Cornell, draws on her academic research, real-world case studies, and personal experience to challenge the pervasive cultural tendency to conform, even when it runs counter to our values.

At its core, Defy argues that defiance is not merely an act of rebellion, but a deliberate, value-aligned choice that enables individuals to live authentically. With clarity and compassion, Sah introduces the concept of the “True No” (a form of refusal) rooted in self-awareness, moral conviction, and informed consent. From refusing unethical instructions at work to resisting social pressure in personal settings, Defy offers readers a roadmap for standing up — not just against authority, but for oneself.

Structured around five progressive stages of defiance, the book equips readers with practical tools for navigating the pressures to conform. Sah’s "defiance compass" is one such framework, encouraging reflection before action. What makes her message especially resonant is the recognition that defiance is not always dramatic or easy. It can be quiet, incremental, and deeply personal. A pause in a meeting, a decision not to attend an event, or a refusal to stay silent in the face of bias, all are acts of defiance that reclaim agency.

Sah is particularly insightful when addressing the unequal burdens of defiance. She powerfully explores how race, gender, class, and social position affect our ability to say no, and reminds readers that marginalised groups often face disproportionate risks when speaking out. She urges those with privilege to use their relative safety not for self-preservation, but as a platform for advocating on behalf of others.

Though Defy occasionally strays into memoir territory, Sah’s personal anecdotes serve to illustrate, rather than overshadow, her arguments. Some critics may find the book’s tone overly idealistic or politically slanted, especially in discussions of law enforcement or military obedience. Yet such critiques overlook the book’s central premise: that defiance, when guided by principle, is not disorderly but necessary for a just and ethical society.

In a world increasingly shaped by algorithms, bureaucracy, and cultural pressure to conform, Defy is a bold call to reclaim our moral agency. Sah’s writing is clear-eyed, deeply humane, and refreshingly practical. This is not a manifesto for anarchy, but a guide for courage for saying ‘no’ when it matters most, and for choosing values over convenience. It is essential reading for anyone striving to live with integrity.

Reviewer: Chris Reed

Blink