Interview: Kerene Strochnetter talks about Little Addicts

Kerene Strochnetter is a leadership coach, mindfulness expert, author, speaker, and host of The Little Addicts Podcast. For more than 20 years, she has helped leaders and organisations create lasting behavioural change through greater self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and values-aligned leadership. She is the author of Crazy Busy — If Busy is the New Stupid, Then Mindful is the New Smart, founder of Mindful at Work, co-author of wellbeing programmes for the Triple Goal app, and supervises other coaches in their professional practice. Kerene’s work brings neuroscience, psychology, mindfulness, and humour together into practical, down-to-earth conversations that help people interrupt the patterns and quick-fix behaviours quietly running their lives, creating space for more courage, clarity, and self-compassion. That work sits at the heart of Little Addicts. Kerene talks to NZ Booklovers about her latest book.

Tell us a little about Little Addicts.

Little Addicts is about the everyday things we use to soothe, distract, or escape ourselves, and what happens when those things stop working.

We tend to think addiction belongs to “other people” or only involves alcohol, drugs, or gambling. But the same human machinery can show up in scrolling, shopping, overworking, people-pleasing, perfectionism, approval-seeking, and our inability to sit still for five minutes without reaching for a device.

The book explores why we are all vulnerable to these patterns, without judgement or finger-wagging. I’ve drawn on neuroscience, personal stories and humour, along with practical ways to recognise our patterns and begin deciding what (if anything) we want to do about them.

It’s not a book about finally getting a grip or becoming perfectly disciplined. It’s about understanding the very human reasons we reach for relief, treating ourselves with greater kindness and creating a little more space between the urge and what we do next.

What inspired you to write this book?

Vaping.

I was walking around Wellington noticing more and more people vaping and vape shops appearing everywhere. I remember thinking, “What the hell is going on?”

Initially, I intended to write a book about vaping. But the more I explored it, the more I realised vaping was just the tip of a very large, slightly uncomfortable iceberg.

My work as a leadership coach and behaviour-change specialist has shown me that human beings are beautifully, inconveniently designed for addiction.

Our brains learn quickly what brings relief, pleasure, reassurance, or escape, and then encourage us to do it again. And again. Preferably immediately.

So, the question became much bigger: if we are wired this way, how do we recognise and challenge these patterns in everyday life without shaming ourselves?

That became Little Addicts.

What research was involved?

Goodness! A lifetime’s worth. The book draws on years of reading and study across neuroscience, habits, behaviour change, psychology, philosophy, developmental mindfulness (not zoning out), and psychedelics. It also draws heavily on my coaching experience, particularly my work with leaders trying to change deeply ingrained behaviours under pressure.

I interviewed people for the Little Addicts podcast, including people with lived experience of addiction and experts working in different areas of recovery, mental health, and human behaviour. Those conversations gave the book a depth and humanity that research alone never could.

And, of course, I examined my own habits and coping strategies (red wine and people pleasing). Nothing like writing a book about self-awareness to make hiding from yourself increasingly inconvenient.

What was your routine or process when writing this book?

There was no romantic writing routine involving a sunlit desk, freshly brewed coffee and several uninterrupted hours. There were clients, research, podcast interviews and life regularly barging through the door without knocking.

I was also travelling back and forth to Australia to care for my mother while she underwent treatment for a serious health condition. It was one of life’s more challenging periods and, rather inconveniently, a real-time test of everything I was writing about: discomfort, coping habits, self-compassion and what we reach for when life feels overwhelming.

The Little Addicts podcast became an important part of the process. Interviewing people with lived experience (and experts in addiction, recovery, and behaviour change) challenged my thinking and brought perspectives I could never have reached through research alone.

Then came the writing. And rewriting. And more rewriting. I followed ideas through the research, connected them with my coaching experience, and looked for stories and metaphors that would make complex concepts feel human.

For me, writing is largely a process of discovering what I’m trying to say, and then (with the help of my editor) deleting all the sentences that show how desperately I was trying to sound clever.

If a soundtrack were made to accompany this book, name a song or two you would include.

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel. It reflects what I hope sits beneath the whole book: compassion, connection, and the possibility of being supported when life becomes difficult. We’re often told that change is about willpower, but I think it’s much more likely when someone walks beside us.

I’d also include Robert Palmer’s Addicted to Love — partly because I’ve always loved the song, and partly because we are all, by virtue of being human, addicted to love.

We’re wired to seek connection, belonging and approval. When past experiences have made love feel uncertain, that very human need can turn into people-pleasing: “I’ll become whoever you need me to be; just please don’t leave, disapprove of me, or look mildly disappointed.”

The good news is that we can learn to feel secure in who we are and stop auditioning for love we no longer need to earn.

Who is the book for?

Honestly, it’s for most of us. It’s for anyone who has ever thought, “Why do I keep doing this when I know it isn’t helping?”

That might involve alcohol, vaping, or food. But it might also be work, busyness, scrolling, relationships, approval, perfectionism, or constantly trying to keep everybody happy.

It is also relevant to leaders and the people who develop them. Under pressure, we all reach for familiar ways of feeling safer. For some leaders, that might look like control, avoidance, overwork, or micromanagement. These behaviours make sense when we understand where they come from, but they still affect the people around us.

You don’t need to identify as an “addict” to recognise yourself in Little Addicts. In fact, that’s rather the point.

What do you hope readers will take away from the book?

More than anything, I want people to feel better about themselves. I want readers to understand why they do what they do and stop treating every unwanted habit as evidence of a character flaw. Our behaviours usually began as attempts to help us feel safer, calmer, accepted or in control.

Understanding that doesn’t mean we have to remain stuck. The book contains practical tools for building awareness, staying present with discomfort, and making choices based on what matters most.

But I’m also very clear that we don’t always have to do this alone. One of the most powerful things someone can do is work with a coach, therapist, health professional or trusted support person. Insight helps us see the pattern; but the right support helps us change it.

If people finish the book feeling less ashamed, more hopeful, more self-aware, and slightly more able to catch themselves before they act, I’ll be delighted.

What did you enjoy the most about writing Little Addicts?

I genuinely love writing. I love finding the sentence that captures something complicated in a way that makes people think, “Oh. That’s me.”

I especially loved interviewing people on the Little Addicts podcast. They trusted me with extraordinary stories about addiction, recovery, mental health, psychedelics, and change. Those conversations continually reminded me that people are far more complex, resilient, and surprising than any neat theory allows.

Writing the book also gave me permission to bring together subjects I’ve been fascinated by for years: neuroscience, behaviour change, Buddhist philosophy, coaching, human suffering and our ridiculous attempts to avoid it.

What did you do to celebrate finishing this book?

Last week, I launched Little Addicts at YOGALLERY in Wellington with family, friends, former clients, podcast guests, peer reviewers and people who had supported the book.

It was joyful, warm, and slightly surreal. A book is written largely alone, but this one certainly wasn’t created alone. So many people contributed stories, ideas, expertise, and encouragement along the way.

Being surrounded by those people (and finally holding the finished book) felt very special.

What is the favourite book you have read so far this year and why?

I’m going to cheat and choose two because restraint is clearly not my strongest suit.

The first is Christopher Bache’s LSD and the Mind of the Universe. It explores consciousness, suffering and our deep interconnectedness. One idea that particularly resonates with me is that addiction grows from disconnection—from ourselves, other people and a sense of purpose and meaning. When we lose touch with who we are, we often reach outside ourselves for something to soothe the gap.

My second choice is The Molecule of More by Daniel Lieberman and Michael Long. It explains dopamine and why our brains are perpetually convinced that happiness lies in the next achievement, purchase, drink, relationship, or notification.

“Desire dopamine” makes us want things; “control dopamine” helps us work out how to get them. Both are essential, but dopamine is much better at chasing happiness than enjoying it once it arrives.

The authors contrast dopamine with our “Here and Now” molecules, which allow us to experience connection, contentment, and pleasure in what is already here (the part we so often miss while racing towards whatever comes next).

Together, these books explore two central ideas in Little Addicts: why we reach outside ourselves for relief and why the brain keeps whispering, “Perhaps just one more.”

What’s next on the agenda for you?

Probably not another book for a while. I need to recover, and I suspect everyone close to me does too.

For now, I want to get Little Addicts into people’s hands and continue the conversations it opens up about habits, self-compassion and meaningful change.

I’ll also continue my work as a leadership coach (Mindful at Work), supporting leaders and organisations to turn awareness into real changes in how people lead, particularly when pressure brings their less-helpful habits to the surface.

And I’m considering what comes next for the Little Addicts podcast. There are still many stories and ideas I’d love to explore. I’m simply deciding what form its next chapter should take.

For the moment, though, I’m enjoying the fact that the book is finished, launched and out in the world. That feels like quite enough excitement for one nervous system.

https://www.mindfulatwork.co.nz/product-page/little-addicts-by-kerene-strochnetter